The Trouble with Trouble, Part 3

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Today, I want to revisit my pet calf, Trouble.(If you haven’t read the earlier posting on him, you’d probably ought to do so. Otherwise, you will think I have totally lost it!) 


What if I’d been able to change Trouble’s cow nature into a human one? Magically reaching down into him and transforming his desire to eat alfalfa into a hunger for cheese and crackers. In doing so, he could truly be a part of our family and live in the house with us. He would have lots of adjustments, huh?


All of the sudden, he would notice that our family didn’t just put our face into food, but uses dinnerware and utensils. I suppose that the hall might seem a little tight for him to squeeze through and that our chairs are not quite sturdy enough. And can you imagine what new toiletry experiences he would have?


Please understand that Trouble truly desires to be human. He wants to sleep in a bed, eat at the table and have lively conversations with our whole family. Yet, when he looks into the mirror, Trouble is still going to be very aware of his remaining bovine limitations.  


When goes out into the field, the other cows would probably still treat him as one of them. But remember, his nature has been changed. He now is a human in the body of a cow. That is an irrefutable fact. 


Trouble has a choice, doesn’t he? He can accept what the mirror says or he can welcome what he now is. He can receive how the other cows perceive him or he can believe what I have given to him. 


I didn’t change the way Trouble looked, I just changed his desires and his ambitions. 


This discrepancy between body and soul didn’t bother me a bit. I liked Trouble just the way he was. 


But it greatly disturbed Trouble. In fact, I found one of his journal entries describing his conflict:


“I kanot understan my own akchons. I don’t du the very thing that I want tu. Insted, I du the things that I hate. I desire tu sit on the sofa, but the first time I did, sumthing happend tu the legs underneeth it. 


“I’m very pleased abowt being in the famlee now. I really like the fact that I have this human nature and can comunikate with everyone. Having a human nature is a good thing, but the crazy thing abowt it – it seems that the very thing that I want tu du, I don’t manage. There still seems tu be sumthing strangely “cow-ish” abowt me. 


“I want tu injoy playing games with the famlee. Yet, insted I find myself wandering out intu the field and nibbling on gras. I du the very thing that I don’t want tu. It’s like having a human nature just isn’t enuf. 


“Beleve me – I joyfully accept these new human desires within me. Honest I du. But it seems like my body is cuntroled by sumthing else. The outside of me seems at war with the inside of me. 


“How will I ever be free?”


Anything about Trouble’s trouble sound familiar?