Today is no exception.
Join her today as she gives us some practical how-to’s during weakness.
“I thought that I knew weakness.
“I felt weak as we experienced culture shock in the small Asian city we moved to by ourselves 7 years ago.
“I felt weak as we struggled through infertility.
“I felt weak as I watched my son have repeated health problems his first year of life.
“But, as the hurt and the weakness from all of those things built up and were ignored, I then suffered a miscarriage. It was at that time, that I understood weakness in a whole new way. It can be a very dark place, but that is only when you rest in that weakness by yourself. I slowly realized that God alone could illuminate that darkness.
“First, He gave light with His Word.
“In the beginning, I did not know what to read, so I read the Psalms, as I have always found David’s honesty refreshing. This helped me remember how to pray again….another small light was turned on. For a while, it seemed like I just prayed “Help me, Lord” over and over. It was simple but good. It was a constant prayer.
“Then, I read the story of Lazarus and realized that Jesus was weeping with me. I was not alone.
“As I read the story of David and Bathsheba losing their baby, I was comforted to read that while my baby will not return to me, I will go to my baby someday.
“I searched for songs that sung of the nearness of God, because I needed to be reminded of His closeness like I needed air to breath. As I heard Jami Smith sing “if we knew all the answers, the hurt would remain the same”, I realized that this hurt would never go away and I would never understand it. I simply needed to rest in my loving Father and allow Him to heal the hurt.
“I could not put myself back together because my strength was gone and completely useless. It always is.
“As He was restoring my strength, I was even able to smile as I watched Titus take his first steps. God had saved it for that perfect time when He knew we needed a reason to smile. He knows how to impart His strength in ways we will never expect or imagine. We spent many hours sitting on the floor playing with Titus and Eliana. Seeing them play was a precious reminder that He still had good in store for me, that He wanted to put me back together for their sake as well as for mine.
“Slowly, I have come to accept my weakness. I am learning to lean into my need for dependence on the One with the never ending strength.