Pulling weeds

That’s my job in the ever constant battle to maintain a yard. Now I don’t always do this just after church, but yet, I do hate weeds.


All of this time in the grass gives me time to consider the need of weeding my words.


1. When I break off the top of a weed, I can know that I will see it again in the exact same place. I can either go get a tool and dig out the root system, or wait a week or so until it comes back up. Waiting necessitates a deeper dig, as now the roots are larger.


Lesson: Our speech roots to the heart. If our approach is to “keep our mouth closed”, we effectively “pull off the top” and will see those same destructive words reappear at another time. The sooner that we allow the Father to deal with the root, the smaller knife He has to use in pruning.



2. The weeds are worse along the edges of our yard. The alley weeds quickly spread into our yard, especially at the borders. 


Lesson: The more friendship I have with the world, the more apt I will be to see those thoughts and attitudes reproduced in my everyday language. 



3. Weeding is easier when Mark has just watered. Weeds come up cleaner when the soil is moist. 


Lesson: Daily doses of the Word keeps my heart (and my tongue) free from growing wild and uprooting healthy habits.



4. Weeding is not overnight work, but takes place over time


Lesson: Don’t be discouraged when “weedy words” get the best of you. This is a gradual process, but the hidden Spirit inside of us is growing steadily stronger as we daily surrender to Him. “Now there was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David; and David grew steadily stronger, but the house of Saul grew weaker continually” (2 Samuel 3:1). As we feed His seed within us, our sin nature starves. 



What is the most significant thing that the Father has revealed to you about your words?



I love today’s post from my husband, Mark. He is not only a wise leadership coach, he is also a meticulous gardener, So, I can say that he speaks with authority on this issue. 



(Don’t believe me? Here he is rushing to put down fertilizer before it snows. He didn’t even change clothes!)




When used regarding marriage, the phrases, “How blessed I am!” and “What am I missing?” are worlds apart. Unfortunately, the distance is too often traveled at light speed.


We all have experienced those awkward conversations that start with, “I wish my spouse…was as spontaneous as…was as refined as…sang like…talked like….walked like…acted like”…and on and on. Why be deluded that the grass is greener elsewhere?


Kandy and I learned early on to appreciate one another as we are, if nothing else for one simple reason; we’d been attracted to one another as we were, not as we might one day be. In our 34 years across multiple cultures, we have interacted with would-be friends living just short of a perfect marriage.


Just short, you ask? It seems that each only needed their spouse to make “a few minor adjustments”.


The slippery slide of comparing your spouse to others dumps you directly into a pool of discontent. Plug and play personality parts where imaginary spouses can be assembled at will do not exist. We learned years ago to stay away from that slope. Instead, affirm what attracted you to your mate. Words of affirmation serve to remind you both.


Kandy connects well with other women, mentoring some to achieve high levels of success. I would hope that a portion of that comes from my encouragement of her vulnerability, honesty, and desire to become who God has created her to be. And conversely Kandy has encouraged me as a discerner of people and processes. Throughout our married life, I gravitate to opportunities to utilize those skills.


Stop wishing your spouse was more like…


Instead, start watering and nurturing the spouse you have. The grass is always greener where you water it.

Front yard of a house