“Not everyone likes to hear you talk as much as you do, Mom!”


As my daughter left the room, I felt her words pierce my heart. After a good cry, I went to talk the the Lord about it. I found out that He agreed with her. Granted, He said it in a much gentler fashion, but I hadn’t listened to Him, until my daughter managed to say it first.


Your children, especially in their teen years, are your soul’s best mirror. If you really want to see how others see you, ask them. Because, at some point or another, they are going to tell you just what they think about you.


I’m not saying that every word is truth or that teenaged attitudes should be given carte blanche. 


Yet as you filter their words through the screen of His Word, you may find a few kernels of truth worth noting. 


Adolescent hormones and puberty are the gravel through which you sift to find the nuggets of gold. Your children are selected especially for youPart of that purpose includes seeing yourself through a candid set of eyes


God has given us spiritual reflectors all around us:


In our parents

In our husbands

In our children

In our mentees

In our bosses

In our co-workers


Like living in a house of mirrors, every corner offers us a self-reflection in the eyes of our family. Our trouble is that we often don’t want to see our true image. Seventeenth century French Christian Francois Fenelon says, “The pain you feel at your own imperfection is worse than the faults themselves. Your problem really is that you become so irritated by seeing your faults.”


Are you willing to see yourself as God sees you? Then pick up the separating screen and begin sorting through words of Truth you hear and words of emotion:


  • You can most usually throw out sentences that include the words “always” or “never”. Things like: “You never let me have any fun.” “You always look for ways to embarrass me.” Look for the nugget of truth within the statement, but sentences with extreme qualifiers are usually emotion based. 


  • Is there a Scripture verse similar to the statement you just heard? “Not everyone likes to hear you talk as much as you do” is quite similar to our next verse in James:  “If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless” (James 1:26).  Forgive the pain of how it was said and move on to living the revealed Word of God. 


  • Just because you find your child’s disobedience similar to your own, you must still discipline. As you do so, invite the Lord to work within you in that specific area. Take disciplinary action cues from the way He disciplines you. 


I’m sure you have so many more practical insights. 


How has seeing your reflection in the eyes of another made you better?



My Child,


I can see you. I see your fears, your fatigue, your frustration. You fall into bed each night exhausted because you have forgotten the Source of your strength.


The truth is that you cannot fix it. The loneliness, the hurt, the grief. No matter what you try, it’s not within your power to turn it around. You can’t find your son a job or your daughter a friend. You can’t change your father’s health or your mother’s decline. You aren’t in control. Your weakness is very real.


The strength you pray for won’t come in the way you ask. Left to yourself, you would just hide your weakness. Yes, you pray for change, but are angry when the transformation touches you. You are My child. How can I leave you untouched by discipline? (Hebrews 12:7)


When you ask for strength, remember that My power is never used to puff up your ego. I am not as concerned with your comfort as much as your consecration. As I search for your best, I always start deep within. One glance into your depths and I can pin-point the problem. Too often, it is the Isaac of the heart which needs to be strapped to the altar.


Be still, My love. My sharp two-edged Sword is only dividing the spiritual from the emotional – the divine from the introspective (Hebrews 4:12). The more you fidget in fear, the longer the operation will take. Be still and know that I am the Great Physician (Psalm 46:10).


I’ve provided you with a full measure of faith to ease the pain. Breathe deeply and believe fully. One timely touch from My Hand heals completely. You do believe that, don’t you?


Believing isn’t just an assurance that I exist. It’s also the confidence that My Hand upon you will result in your reward (Hebrews 11:6). My best gifts aren’t cars and cash, but compassion and self-control (Luke 11:13). I want you to be comfortable one day in heaven, so I’m fitting you for it even now.


You cannot fix it, but I can. Even now, I am accomplishing each little detail that concerns you (Psalm 138:8). The abundance of the heavenlies has been prepared for your needs. Enroll in My classroom of prayer and learn how to pour out My Love into the lives of those in need.


I’ve made you bigger than you are living. Come to the mirror to see yourself through My Eyes.